And Now Something Hillarious...Dead Animals!

As we all know dead animals are not a thing to laugh at. Well, most of the time anyway. Here are a few ways that the corpses of dead animals have been put to 'good' use. Enjoy!

Drinking; It'll Bring Out Your Inner-Animal.

Are you man enough to try this? In fact, are you beast enough to try this? Said to be the "World's strongest ale" and costing £500 per bottle, this drink is certainly the dog's bollocks of alcohol! This new ale, which is now stronger than whiskey and vodka, created by BrewDog in Aberdeenshire comes in a rather unusual packaging. Some would call it hideous. Some would call it a crime against nature. Some would call it sexy (the least said about those people, the better). But I say, this is awesome. The drink goes by the name of The End Of History and comes in a handy and fetching array of dead animals.Choose between either a dead stout, a deceased squirrel or why not be adventurous and pick the hare. Each come this a customisable and highly fashionable out-fit, including a top hat and a kilt. Why not have a themed party to match your ale bottle? James Watt, the co-founder of BrewDog made it clear that "The bottles are at once beautiful and disturbing - they disrupt conventions and break taboos, just like the beer they hold within them." But don't worry, no animals were killed for the purpose of this (they died naturally) but many were humiliated.

BrewDog's official website.

More on this story.

The Museum Stuffed With Dead Animals

What's worse than a couple of ale bottles inside  a few dead animals? How about a whole museum full of stuffed dead animals in funny and bizarre poses? Well such a place exists and that place is Potter's Museum in Bramber, West Sussex here in the UK. Originally opened in 1861, this museum contains over 6,000 animals that have been stuffed by one man (Walter Potter) and placed often in very bizarre poses, such as can be seen in the picture to the left. Other such animal corpse scenes include "The Rabbits School" which shows a whole group of children rabbits reading, writing and listening to their adult rabbit teacher, "Freak Kitten" - a dead kitten with 4 legs on it's back, "Mechanical Toad" in which a series of stuffed toads work out at the gym and of course (?) a stuffed animal re-enactment of the classic rhyme "Death And Burial Of Cock Robin." Sadly, in the year of 2003, Potter's Museum was sold and the each of these were split and sold at auction, raising over £1,000,000! Not bad at all.

For more info on these check out this site.

Cuddly Road-Kill

Ok, so this one is a bit of a cheat, but it deserves to be on here. Not only is it macabre and freaky but it also contains dead (all be in, not real) animals. Yes, of course, it's road-kill cuddly toys! A whole brand of dead, but very fluffy, road-kill teddies are available to buy, each one complete with detailed gore (including splattered brain, intestines and eyeballs), a death certificate, character info and a 'I Love Roadkill' bumper sticker for your car.  So far there is a total of four of these dead creatures to buy; Twitch the Racoon, Grind the Rabbit, Splodge the Hedgehog (Pictured) and, my personal favourite a Pop the Weasel Door Wedge. Also available is a pack of road-kill Christmas cards, sure to brighten up any young face on Christmas day. And what's more, these bloody animals will also shortly be joined by Splodge the Hedgehog mouse mat and Fender the nodding Fox. Buy now - guaranteed to bring tears of happiness to every boy and girl.

To visit their official website and to purchase them, visit this site. 

So that's just a few of the weirdest and most bizarre dead/stuffed animals available. If you have any more, leave a comment below and share it!

A Deal with The Devil

We've all seen The Exorcist - easily one of the scariest films of all time, but here's an equally frightening story, that is completly true. It's the story of Clara Germana Cele, a young girl who because possessed by demonic forces. Read on for all the terrifying details. Don't forget to hold tight to your blankie!

It began in the year 1906 in the quiet Marianhill Order mission school in South Africa. It ended with a horrifying bang. For in the August of 1906, the 16 year-old Clara Germana Cele confessed to the school's Father Erasmus Horner, who she had known since the age of 4, had made a pact with the Devil himself, Satan. But this must have been a bad move, because within the next few weeks, all Hell broke loose. Germana began to act increasinly perculiar. She would grunt and bark like an animal, rip of her clothes, break apart her bed and spoke to, what appeared to be, invisible entities. The nuns and the priests of the school became increasingly concerned and confused. To add to the confusion, Germana was said to shout out,

"Sister, please call Father Erasmus! I must confess and tell everything. But quick, quick, or Satan will kill me. He has me in his power!"

Things only got worse from here on.

Zombie Film BANNED!

It's not everyday that you hear of a zombie film being refused a certificate, but this exactly what has happened in Austraila. The film in question: Bruce LaBruce's LA Zombie. The reason for why it was banned: strong violence and sex. But this is not your typical heterosexual sex. Oh no, in fact it's quite the opposite. Yep, homosexual sex. Now I obviously haven't had the chance to see LA Zombie, since it hasn't been released yet, BUT I have seen his previous zombie-homo-porno, Otto: Or Up With Dead People and I really did enjoy that film. Sure it got a bit too arty-farty at times but it was different. The gore isn't too strong in that film, however there is plenty of male nudity and the film climaxes in a large homosexual orgy.

And after reading LA Zombie's synopsis, well it's pretty easy to see that LaBruce (who is known for working in gay adult cinema) has attempted to out-do Otto. According to this site, the film centers around "aliens engaging in [homosexual] necrophilia".  Pretty far out there then!

I can't help but wonder; if this film contained only heterosexual sex, would this film be banned? It's an interesting thought and one I hope is not true. LaBruce also mentions to The Guardian that this film is a "a reaction against torture porn." Are the Austrailian Film Classification board saying sex is worse than death? It's yet another interesting question raised.


Interestingly this was the first film to be banned at the Melbourne International Film Festival in seven years, which is quite an achievment. Now, this raises an interesting point. Has banning the film strangely helped the film? It's certainly the talk among zombie fans at the moment - a zombie film, that's been banned, I have GOT to see this! Perhaps the banning of this film will, in the long run, give the film more recognition and publicity than if it got through uncut, such as Otto, which is a truly underrated and under-seen film. Just take a look at the Video Nasties - most of which would have fallen into obscurity if it wasn't for them being caught up in the hoohar. 

On the other hand, Otto is getting a release here in the UK, completly UNCUT. So check it out, if your looking for something more different.

Film's official website.

The Beast in Space (1980)

Now this is a very strange film. If you like the sci-fi and Eurosleaze sexploitation genres then you’re in for a treat as this incredibly sleazy and camp film, The Beast in Space, mixes the two-genres like you’ve never seen done before. A quick look at the names associated with this film will give you a very good idea of what to expect. Alfonso Brescia helms the director’s chair for this; a man responsible for several other Italian Star Wars (George Lucas, 1977) rip-offs and cash-in such as the hilariously bad War of the Robots (1978). It also stars art-porn ‘actress’ Sirpa Lane, probably best known for her roles in Papaya: Love Goddess Of The Cannibals (Joe D’Amato, 1978) and The Beast (Walerian Borowcyzk,1975) which this film is a unofficial sequel to. Sleaze, stupidity and more sleazy. Sounds like a great film already.

The plot, as one would expect, is very simple indeed. It is so simple in fact that the whole shebang is more or less done in a very tongue-in-cheek style (either that or it was just unintentionally hilarious) especially the final robotic showdown.  Then again, if you’re watching this film looking for an interesting, sophisticated plot then you’re, well, as stupid as this film, but possibly not half as much fun.  This film makes up for the lightness of the plot with a plethora of sex. There’s sex everywhere - hence the whole ‘sexploitation’ thing. So if you’re watching this film for that then you won’t be disappointed. It’s a sci-fi fan’s dream come true! But what is particularly interesting about this film is the importance and significance given to the idea of forbidden and/or dangerous sex. Sondra (Lane) the female protagonist of this piece explains how she ‘suffers’ from a reoccurring nightmare involving her having sex with a half-man, half-beast creature. Yet as the film progresses and, sure enough, reality becomes more and more similar to her nightmares/dreams the idea of forbidden sex is complicated. Whilst it is clearly ‘wrong’ and prohibited to have it off with the Beast, she is clearly attracted to this idea. Rape fantasy complex? Mmm, maybe. On the topic of ‘the act’ the Shameless version includes scenes which have been removed from the softer versions, most notably (!) the Beast’s large...how shall I say it...wangdoodle. So big in fact it scares Lane’s character off at first. 

Zombie Teddies!

When you see a teddy, what do you usually think of? Childhood memories, stupid teddy names, sneaking into your room to see if they really are alive (Anyone? Nope. Just me then), fluffy and cuddly? Well think again! These badbears are hungry for flesh and they'll rip the stuffing out of you! I present to you BadTasteBear's upcoming 'Dawn Of The Ted' figures!



The first batch consists of six cotton-eating teds which can all been seen in the picture. My personal favourite has got to be "Rot n Roll" bear, with it's missing leg and guitar-crutches, followed closely by the "Bursting With Joy" figure complete with it's oozing bear intestines.

The first set of the dead teds will be on sale HERE from the 22nd of July, where you'll also have a 50/50 chance of winning a Phantom version of "Life's Such A Drag". From what I've seen they look brilliant, and I'll definetly will be getting a few (when I get some money that is!).

For more info check out the following links:

• Bad Taste Bears News Blog
• Diary of the Ted! 

Arrow to Release Jaguar Lives

If your a fan of exploitation and action films then you are going to be in Heaven with this news (or Hell, if that's your thing). The folks over at Arrow Video have just announced (on the Cult Labs Forum) that the action grindhouse epic, Jaguar Lives will be getting a release here in the UK! And, going by their previous releases of City Of The Living Dead, Dawn/Day of the Dead, Macabre and so on this will be an awesome package!

Starring Joe Lewis, the Icon of horror himself Mr. Christopher Lee, Donald Pleasence and so many more, this is a film not to be missed. Just check out the posters and the trailers! Oh yeah!

Scammed by a Spiritualist.

Scammed by a Spiritualist? Who's ever heard of such a thing!

Well that could be said about this incident. After suffering from stomach troubles and finance issues, Enzo Vincenzi looked in a Yellow Pages for some help, only to come across "Botanica 7 Potensias Africanas" shop in Fort Myers. There he met up with Miriam Pacheco, the shop's owner, who told him, for the price of $50 that he was a "walking dead man."

Enzo, scared out of his wits, took Miriam's offers of treatment. But these were not your typical medical treatments, these were 'spiritual' - so Miriam would often perform ceremonies inside Enzo's house which would involve the use of "a dead bird, a sacrificed rooster, liquid potions, prayers and chant." Sooner or later, Miriam told Enzo that in order for her to save him from demonic powers meddling with his life, he should pay her $500 so that he could share her house (along with her god-daughter). He of course did this and sold his Motel to her! This quickly threw Enzo over the edge, so to speak, as he was involuntarily taken to a mental institute for a short while due to the stress of selling his Motel to Miriam and the fear of complete doom by these demonic forces. This wasn't helped at all when Miriam decided to evict Enzo from her house! Along with Enzo losing his mind and his Motel, he also lost "his Jaguar, pickup truck, motorboat and possessions"

Crazy!

The Article

Robot Bastard - The Greatest Free Short Film on the Internet!

Here's something that is utterly bizarre and just plain odd which you probably have not seen. It's one of those rare gems on the Internet: a video that's actually good (and doesn't involve a baby falling over or some silly cat).  Described by Tekbug Magazine as "...the kind of film that every teen-age boy wants to see and the type of film every geeky guy wants to be in", Robot Bastard is one heck of a crazy ride well worth checking out. And it's free!

This 15 minute or so short film, directed by Rob Schrab, tells the story of a bright orange (awesome looking) robot who is sent on a mission to kill the most feared female in the universe. Fighting tones of space mummy/zombie things along the way and ending in a great climax, this is a little known film that's pure gold! And yep, it's as silly and as kick ass as you could possibly imagine with a title like that!

Here's what the official website describes it as:

"The future is a cooler place than you might imagine. Robot Bastard exists in an eight-grade-boy universe of Robots, Rocket ships and cute girls. Escape to the colorful adventure in the first installment of Robot Bastard! Yes, geeks of the world, this is the one you've been praying for.

The President's Daughter has been kidnapped by the brilliant super-criminal Blood Mamba. All rescue attempts have been thwarted by the evil genius. There's only one thing left to do: send in the Robot. The Robot must fight zombie-monsters and insecurity in order to complete his suicidal mission.

This marks the directorial debut of Rob Schrab (Creator of Scud: the Disposable Assassin and Heat Vision and Jack)."

The animation in this film is spot on, the one-liners are hilarious, the sets, the lighting, the sounds - everything just seems to work! Truly one of the strangest, most stylish and bad ass videos your likely to come across for free (legally!)

If you want to check this out then head on over to the Official Site, where you'll be able to download the film, the trailer and all the goodies.

Highly recommended!

News: Man Bullied By Aliens

What are the chances of a meteor crashing through your house in your lifetime? Probably not that likely. So what is the chance that within the past few years six meteors will crash down onto your house? Next to nothing, I'd say. Unless of course your name is Radivoje Lajic!

In 2008, Radivoje received worldwide interest after a fifth meteor crashed into his house.  Astrologers, scientists and plenty others were completely confused by this rare occurrence. Within the past couple of months, two more meteors have rained down on his house. Luckily for him, he's had his roof reinforced with steel (funded by selling the first meteor). Is this just down to luck or some sort of natural phenomenon? The simple answer is, neither - or at least in Lajic's eyes. "I am obviously being targeted by extraterrestrials," he says, as he questions what he has done to "annoy them?"

Is this all just down to chance? Luck? Or are aliens really bullying Mr. Lajic? 

One thing's for certain though. I bet those that believe there's a connection between Bigfoot and aliens are having a field day! Aliens throwing rocks?!

An Article

Win The Perfect Sleep

It's sunday, which means there's yet another prize up for grabs. As ever, all you have to do to win it is head on over to  the Cult Labs forum and follow the rules. Simple!

“A FANTASTIC, WONDERFUL RIDE. IT’S FILM NOIR ON CRACK.” – GARY OLDMAN.

Described by the Independent Film Quarterly as “Goodfellas meets Chinatown… [a] modern gangster masterpiece”, The Perfect Sleep, the directorial debut feature from Jeremy Alter, is a stylish, contemporary film noir that owes as much to Shakespeare (references to Hamlet, Othello and King Lear abound) as it does to the works of Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler. A co-producer of ‘Inland Empire’ and location manager on ‘Lost Highway’, director Alter also wears his Lynchian influences on his sleeve as he presents star and scriptwriter Anton Pardoe’s (himself a location assistant on ‘Lost Highway’) hard-boiled, noirish world of ruthless gangsters, femme fatales and morally unsound detectives as a dark and vivid dreamscape full of tormented characters.

In a timeless, unidentified city (which may or may not be Los Angeles), a man with no name (Pardoe) returns to the violent, brutal domain of gangsters and assassins he left ten years before, back when they dubbed him The Mad Monk for his disregard for his own life and his intense devotion to one woman, Porphyria (Roselyn Sanchez).

The girl he grew up with and the love of his life, Porphyria is now a beautiful woman - the only thing he has ever wanted and the one thing he can never have. She, alone, is the reason for his return. Her life now in danger, he is the only man who can save her. But waiting for him are several killers who would like nothing more than to see him die a painful death, while standing at their forefront is the formidable Nikolai (Patrick Bauchau), the man who raised him and just might be his father. To protect Porphyria, this unnamed man must revisit his former life of torment and torture and confront the father figure he turned his back on so many years ago.

Co-starring Roselyn Sanchez (Without A Trace), Patrick Bauchau (2012), Peter J. Lucas (Inland Empire) and Michael Pare (the Bloodrayne movies), The Perfect Sleep is a dreamy, often nightmarish, film noir enhanced by stunning cinematography, ethereal locations and a cool, atmospheric musical score by David Vanian, the frontman of punk-goth legends, The Damned.

The Perfect Sleep (cert. tbc) will be released on DVD (£15.99) by Icon Home Entertainment on 26th July 2010.